Uncomfortable?

It's my day off.

I'm 'relaxing.'

I shift my legs again on the couch.

I'm uncomfortable. My skin kind of hurts. I want to hide, but I want to run, I want to be mindful in the moment, I want to feel satisfied, I want to feel a sense of accomplishment and connection.

I mentally flick through my categories: Judith/love. Job/notes. Friends. Family. Writing/reading. Body care. House to-dos. I have a large to-do list, but I see a stagnant moat between me and their completion. It feels impossible to get started.

I restlessly flip myself onto my belly and scan for 'likes' on my Facebook page on my phone. Maybe I should get a cup of tea. Ugh. My head hurts, now. I don't want to get up.

Or maybe a walk.

I roll myself off the ottoman and verticalize myself. I slide the keys off the shelf by the front door and cram my feet into my shoes without untying/retying them. Lock the door, squeeze the storm door closed. Now I let the cool, damp breeze into my nostrils.

One foot in front of the other at first, then it's automatic. Down the walk and up toward Farin's house. My legs blissfully tingle as I cruise steadily up the hill. The neighbor's home-made stone retaining wall is bowing. I smile and think of our own home-made retaining wall, still hanging tough.

RUSTLE. A cardinal surprises me, flapping in a bush, arm's length away. I am a little startled, but in a good way. My heart rate is comfortably climbing.

I round the block and pass the yard Judith always comments on, "I love their yard design. Look at that wheelbarrow, and those lights on the back deck. Can we do that?" She asks excitedly in my head.

I wind my way around the neighborhood and arrive back home. I stride over the new flagstone walk just installed in December. Cling/clang the keys and open the door. Return the keys to the shelf. I'm breathing deeper and a bit faster than before. I notice that my vision is slightly sharper. I collect the mugs and dishes from their lazy locations and carry them into the kitchen which then inspires me to unload the dishwasher.

::sigh::

I can get started with my day, now.

A simple walk energizes me more than a Youtube video or a Facebook scroll or a Netflix hunt. It's better than a nap, too. Bonus: my medical journal reminded me this morning: 20 minutes of daily brisk walking reduces risk of heart attack by 30-40%.

Happy Monday.

-Dr. Southwick